Interview with me

Ok so I know it took me a while to get to this but I was pondering the best way to answer some of them, but here it is.

Instructions - if you would like to be interviewed
1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

My Questions -

1. What makes you smile? This is kind of an easy one. One thing that always makes me smile is my sons happy face.

2. You have a picture of your son on your blog - what is one piece of practical parenting advice you would give to someone else? I had my son pic up but I took it down. I wanted it there originally cause it was something that made me happy but it also distracts away from the true purpose of this blog. One practical parenting advice would be to cherish every milestone your child makes. They only get to grow up once and these are special no matter how trivial they may seem.

3. Why the pictures on the side of your blog? Pick one and explain the significance. As I said before I wanted to use this as a tool in my healing. Every pic that I have up is connected to the feeling I so desperately try to escape. I wanted to be honest with myself and everyone following my journey. All those images speak to me as to how I am feeling or have felt. Most are reoccurring. If I had to pick one and explain it I would pick the "My Soul-Broken". This was is the first on my list as its the truest to how I feel. When the abuse started I felt like my being was shattered. If you look closely at the pic, you will notice that there is a reflection of a child. This is my inner child. You will also notice that there are pieces missing. My abusers took form me so it is not whole. Whenever I share my secret with someone I feel like I'm giving them a piece of my soul, many of the people that I have share with have refused to talk to me anymore because of "my secret", thus taking those pieces with them. I don't know if I can ever be whole again.

4. Why nursing? Why are you pursuing a degree in nursing? What do you want to do with it? As a child I was sick a lot, I am a chronic asthmatic. I was in and out of the hospital a lot. There were so many great nurses and also some not so good ones. I wanted to touch someone else's life as mine was. I want to make a difference and show some one else the same level of compassion that was given to me in my most dire times. Also because I have a great interesting in medical equipment, its always fascinated me, how these devices can sustain lives that might otherwise have been extinguished.

I want to specialize in Neonatology. When my son was born he stopped breathing and was rushed to the NICU. Even before he was born I knew this was my calling, however seeing it from the parents side, I think will make me a better nurse for that level because I can truly understand what they are going through.

5. How do you feel about your dream 1-2 days after it? Any more insight? I still really hurt about that dream. I think perhaps there is something inside me that want me to come to terms with the fact that mom will never been the mother I needed her to be. It was suggested to me by a dear friend that it was me represented in all 3 aspects. My inner child is the hurt me still seeking a mother, then the adult me that had given up on my mother, and lastly me as the mother the I always needed. This take make sense to me but I'm still not sure what to think.